The Heartbreak that Made Me Realize I Don’t Want To Grow Up Yet.

Whether you were the dumper or the dump-ie, doing through a break up is tough. I was recently dumped by someone who I was dating for about a year. Within one year, we had our own rental house, phone contracts, a dog, and a bank account. We did move fast, and I see that now, but it felt so real. He was supposed to be the one or at least I thought he was. Looking back at the relationship I saw a lot of problems that I ignored. This breakup did not destroy me, it made things in my life more clear.

I still am in college and have about 2 more years till I finish my bachelor’s degree. I decided to just go to local community colleges for my associate’s degree, but growing up that is not what I wanted. I had dreams of going to a good sized college and experiencing the college life. I envisioned myself living on campus and going to college parties while getting a degree in something I love. You know what happened to that? Being to consumed with guys and what I thought “love” was, I disregarded my dreams about college. Thinking about it now, I don’t know how I could let someone else keep me from something I wanted so bad.

I took a trip up to see my uncle’s family in the twin cities for a few days. I discovered that I have still so much to do in my life before I settle down. I mean, I’m only in my 20’s and I don’t want to settle down yet. I thought I wanted to get a house with my boyfriend and start our life together, but now I see that I still have things to do.

Things I feel like I need to do before I settle down are personal and adventurous. Personally, I need to find myself. Finding myself has always been tough for me. Growing up, my self-confidence was always a struggle to have and always a challenge to be happy with myself. I also need to focus on what I want to do as a career. I have a great idea of what I want to do but need to really think about the future. I have always loved traveling, even if it is a short road trip to Chicago. I love getting out there and seeing new things. I want to travel more and see more of the world. I’m from a small midwest town and love that big-city feel and feel as if I haven’t seen the beauty of the country.

I get that these feelings are because of the breakup and usually a part of going through the emotions after said breakup, but I don’t think so. I am done putting my emotions and dreams on the side for others. I’m still young and want to experience as much as I can before it is time to settle down.

 

 

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